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To bikini, or not to bikini? I'll answer your question...

06/24/2013 10:32

 

It’s BIKINI SEASON, ladies!  And you know what that means…it’s time to buy a one-piece.  I went to the beach at Hilton Head, South Carolina a few weeks ago, and was truly appalled at what I saw.  I know, I know, as women we should fight back against the media’s skewed image of how women are “supposed” to look, and we should celebrate our curves and all that crap, but seriously.  Girls, we need to make a concerted effort to look in the mirror before going out in public. 

Swimsuits are no different than clothes—all styles do not look becoming on all figures.  That’s why there are a million different brands, cuts, and designs from which to choose.  Just pick something that fits and covers up the jiggly parts—that’s all I’m asking here!  I’m not saying that if you don’t look like Megan Fox that you should just put on a muumuu and be done with it.  Please, if that were the case, I’d never have been allowed to set foot in a swimwear store.  I’m just saying that we as women need to take one simple oath.  Say it with me:

 

“Just because a bikini comes in my size

does not mean that I should buy it or wear it.”

 

There.  I said it.  And I’m going to say this, too:  if I can’t bounce a dime off of your abs, I don’t want to see them. 

Let this be your should-I-buy-that-bikini guide.  If you can answer “yes” to any of the following criteria, do us all a solid and put the suit back on the rack and walk away.

  • My belly hangs over the waistband.
  • More of my cleavage is showing than is covered by fabric.
  • My cleavage is nearer to my waist than to my shoulders.
  • I am 50 years old.
  • My butt is showing.
  • I am pregnant.

This simple list should help you from becoming an eyesore at your local swimming hole.  You’re welcome.

Oh, and one more thing, don’t jog down the beach in a bandeau bikini without a neckstrap, ever.  Thanks to an older lady who crossed my line of vision on vacation, I can't un-see that. 

 

 

 

June is National Accordion Awareness Month

06/11/2013 15:41

 

You read it right.  June is National Accordion Awareness Month. 

Let’s take a moment to pay homage to this most misunderstood of musical instruments.

 

Were you aware that:

1.     The accordion is the official instrument of the great city of San Francisco?  Well, it is, and it has been since 1990.

2.     The buttons on one side play the “chords” or accompaniment notes, and the piano keyboard is used to play the melody?

3.     No sound comes out of the instrument unless you push and pull on the “bellows”, the fan-shaped part in the middle?

4.     Famous people who play the accordion include Lucy Liu, Billy Joel, Ross Perot, Weird Al Yankovic, and YOURS TRULY?!?

 

 

Aww, check out that sweet, young, 16-year-old thing playing the accordion in that picture.  That’s me in my high school musical, Leader of the Pack, a story about the life and music of Ellie Greenwich, who wrote hits including “Leader of the Pack”, “Do Wah Diddy Diddy”, “Be My Baby”, “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” and countless others.  I had the lead role of Ellie, and, yes, I actually learned how to play the old squeezebox for the show.  The keyboard part of it wasn’t such a problem since I already knew how to play the piano, but the gazillion buttons on the other side (see photo above) were a whole different story.  Sure, they’re marked, but you don’t have time to hunt for each chord, so you basically have to know where all the buttons are located to be able to play anything decently.

 

So, in honor of National Accordion Awareness Month, I urge you to attend an accordion concert near you, or do the next best thing--go to YouTube and watch a video or two.  I recommend this video if you want some seriously amazing accordion music.  Or, if you don’t, you can always watch Urkel get all hot and bothered over an accordion duet with a pretty girl here.

 

Enjoy!

 

10 Fun & Random Facts about ME!

05/23/2013 09:46

 

The good folks at Free eBooks Daily helped me advertise my free weekend on Amazon a while back, and they came up with a fun way to get to know me.  I had a great time thinking of these--hope you have fun reading them!  

Check out their website:  http://www.freeebooksdaily.com/

See the original article here:  http://www.freeebooksdaily.com/2013/04/facts-Caroline-Fardig.html

 

10 Fun & Random Facts About Author Caroline Fardig

 
 

  1. I almost opened a bakery this year, but decided to become a writer instead.
  2. I play piano, guitar, and drums.
  3. I have a Bachelor's Degree in music, and never enjoyed English class in school.
  4. My favorite job ever was working at a funeral home.
  5. I collect antique kitchen gadgets.
  6. I love to sing, especially with my daughter.
  7. I can win almost any belching contest.
  8. I was a Homecoming Queen candidate in college.
  9. I love Disney/Nickelodeon 'tween shows, and I even watch them when my kids aren't around.
  10. I was valedictorian of my high school class.

 

IT'S JUST A LITTLE CRUSH--Now available for ALL ereading devices!!!

05/16/2013 08:29

 

I'm happy to announce that IT'S JUST A LITTLE CRUSH is now available for the Nook and in print at Barnes & Noble!  

I am especially excited about that, because now I can read my own book on my own Nook ereader!

IT'S JUST A LITTLE CRUSH is also available for

KindleSonyKobo,

iBooks (in app purchase),

Diesel, and Versent.

 

IT'S JUST A LITTLE CRUSH Review by author Sarka-Jonae

05/10/2013 11:25

 

Here's my author friend Sarka-Jonae's review of my book, IT'S JUST A LITTLE CRUSH.  You can read my review of her book, BETWEEN BOYFRIENDS--just scroll down a few blog posts.

 

I thoroughly enjoyed "It's Just a Little Crush." It's funny, it's believable, and it's got just the right touch of romance balanced with a compelling story of betrayal, scandals, and small town gossip. 

The book's heroine is a copy editor for a newspaper in a small town called Liberty. Lizzie Hart is your typical small town girl, well not exactly. She's smart, she's fun, and she's totally crushing on the new star reporter, Blake Morgan; she and everyone else in Liberty. When murder comes to her town, Lizzie takes off her copy editor hat and puts aside her crush to play detective. What sets this book apart is the believable way Lizzie goes about catching a killer. She's a bit of a bumbling fool at times, like Stephanie Plum but not quite as zany. Lizzie is exactly what you expect her to be, a real person with real fears and real needs. A few crazy things happen, think car bombs and office fires, but they happen in a believable fashion that is both funny and actually furthers the plot.

In the midst of this who dun it, readers are treated to a blossoming romance between a recovering womanizer and a woman who is learning her worth. The question of will Lizzie get her man is as compelling as will Lizzie catch her killer, and the two plot lines are masterfully intertwined.

 

 

IT'S JUST A LITTLE CRUSH, now in paperback!

05/08/2013 11:39

I'm happy to announce that IT'S JUST A LITTLE CRUSH is now available in print from Amazon!  After my free weekend promotion, IT'S JUST A LITTLE CRUSH climbed all the way to #85 on the (paid) Humor Bestsellers List.  Thanks to all for your support!

 

 

Free weekend on Amazon!

04/28/2013 00:16

 

That's right, I'm giving away IT'S JUST A LITTLE CRUSH for free--this weekend only.  Go here to get it.

 

At the moment, IT'S JUST A LITTLE CRUSH is burning up the Amazon free charts.  Here are the stats so far:

#91 Free in Kindle Store

#2 Free in Kindle Store > Humor

#2 Free in Kindle Store > Women Sleuths

 

Woo-hoo!  This girl is pretty excited!

 

 

Launch Party!

04/25/2013 08:29

 

Join our LAUNCH PARTY today for author Lilian Roberts' third book in the Immortal Rapture series, ARIELLE:  IMMORTAL PASSION!

 

Paranormal romance author Lilian Roberts is releasing the third book in her fascinating Immortal Rapture series on April 30. Entitled ARIELLE: IMMORTAL PASSION, this third book continues the saga of a mortal woman, Arielle Lloyd, and her immortal lover, Sebastian Gaulle. Arielle possesses a mysterious amulet that prevents someone from harming her directly, but Sebastian's jealous exes are searching for ways around its protection, hoping to kill her and take her place. Now Arielle's friends may be in danger as well when the immortal up their game to take out Arielle and reclaim Sebastian. 
 
ARIELLE:  IMMORTAL PASSION is the third book following Top 40 Romance Best Seller ARIELLE:  IMMORTAL AWAKENING, and its thrilled sequel ARIELLE:  IMMORTAL SEDUCTION.  Make sure to get your copy of the entire series for Kindle, Nook, or in paperback. 
 
ARIELLE:  IMMORTAL PASSION Book Description
An interlude in paradise…
St. Jean De Luz, in the south of France, is the gorgeous setting of one of Sebastian Gaulle’s family estates. It is to this lush place that the Immortal takes his love, Arielle Brown, and her friends, to relax and spend their holiday exploring the surroundings and learning about his family’s history.

A snake in the garden…
There is no safety in this paradise, however, as Sebastian’s past continues to haunt him. The Immortal, Annabel, still lusts for vengeance on Sebastian and seeks to destroy his new love. While exploring, Arielle’s life is endangered when she discovers dangerous hidden strangers occupying the house.

Evil that will not die…
Trapped, threatened, and nearing her last breath, Arielle must call on the powerful magic of her friend, Eva, for help. Sebastian must rally his Immortal friends and family to protect his love and expel the evil before his paradise is forever lost.
 
 
Add the paranormal romance novel to your Goodreads shelf, and check back on Amazon or Smashwords April 30 to get a copy. 

For more information about the Immortal Rapture series, join Lilian on Facebook and Twitter
    
 

Lilian Roberts Blog Tour

04/24/2013 21:01

 

I would like to welcome fellow author Lilian Roberts to my blog!  She is blog touring this month, and she will be here today and tomorrow promoting her books.  If you're a paranormal romance fan, you need to check her out at www.lilianroberts.com!

 

 

Lilian Roberts' magical paranormal romance novel, ARIELLE:  IMMORTAL AWAKENING, gets a new cover! The first book in the Immortal Rapture series reached the "Top 40" on two Romance Best Seller Lists on Amazon last month, and with a third book in the series on the way, it seemed like a good time to get a timeless cover to match the beautiful novel. And the new cover is...
 
ARIELLE:  IMMORTAL AWAKENING begins the story of college co-ed Arielle Lloyd. Arielle believes that she's a little different than everyone else. She can hear the thoughts of certain people, and sense their emotions. Little does she know that her gifts of telepathy and empathy are not the most unusual things in the world. She soon discovers that her best friend, Eva Winters, is a powerful psychic. She receives visions, sees auras, and communicates with the dead. When tragedy strikes, Eva falls deeper into her magical world, pulling Arielle and their other bestie, Gabrielle, in, too. Arielle's eyes are opened to a whole new world of paranormal activity, and just when she thinks she's seen it all, in walks uber-sexy Frenchman Sebastian Gaulle. The young Arielle is captivated by Sebastian's charms. What she doesn't know is that Sebastian is an immortal, a powerful being that is no longer human and will live forever. 
 
Arielle and Sebastian's story continues in book 2 of the series, ARIELLE: IMMORTAL SEDUCTION.  Arielle's life gets even more complicated as several of Sebastian's ex-lovers return to claim their former prize. Arielle and her friends must find a way to keep her safe. 
 

Get a copy of Lilian's books!  Choose your link below:

ARIELLE:  IMMORTAL AWAKENING Buy Links
Kindle 
Paperback 
Nook 

 

ARIELLE:  IMMORTAL SEDUCTION Buy Links
Kindle 
Paperback
Nook 

 

Check back tomorrow for news about the upcoming release of book 3 in the Immortal Rapture series, ARIELLE:  IMMORTAL PASSION.

 

 

 

The Worst Movie Ever: GI JOE: RETALIATION

04/22/2013 10:22

 

PLEASE BE ADVISED--THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!  QUIT READING NOW IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE!!!

 

This weekend, my husband and I went to see the new GI JOE movie.  I have to admit, it was my idea.  Come on, Channing Tatum AND The Rock?  I was expecting some flexing, pec-popping, and general shirtless-ness out of two of my favorite actors.  But NOOOOOO.  The only shirt-taking-off was some scrawny guy and some girl.  SERIOUSLY?  You paid The Rock and Channing Tatum to be in your movie, and you didn't even let them do what they do best?!?  And what's worse, Channing Tatum was barely even in the movie, in fact he DIES about 30 minutes in!  WHAT THE?  In my opinion, if he's on the movie poster (see above), then he needs to at least make it to the 90 minute mark.  Oh, wait.  The entire movie barely made it to the 90 minute mark, but after sitting through it, I was incredibly thankful.

 

The acting was mediocre, at best, even though I'm sure they had to shell out some serious cash for Bruce Willis, who looked bored during most of his scenes.  And don't even get me started on the dialogue!  The lines for Zartan/The President were by far the worst.  The screenwriters just non-sensically strung random cliched lines together, and although the poor actor did a good job delivering his lines, the words still made absolutly no sense!  

 

On the bright side, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.  It was so bad, that's about all you could do.  I don't know if it was intentional or not, but you could count on a "that's what she said"-inducing comment about every five minutes.  The dialogue that was supposed to be funny, wasn't (with the exception of a couple of scenes between Channing Tatum and The Rock that I'm sure were ad-libbed, because they were actually funny and sounded nothing like the lines in the rest of the movie), and the dialogue that was supposed to be serious was hysterical.

 

Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure that after he saw how fast the film was going down the toilet, Channing Tatum ASKED to be killed off.

 

 

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